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Jokes, I like by michael ,  Apr 5, 2014
Meanwhile in China....
Birthday present:

Wood-Burning iPhone Charger

By Rocky Thompson on February 2nd, 2012

Here’s another one for the zombie apocalypse survival kit. You can now cook a pack of Ramen and charge your iPhone at the same time. You’ll be able to eat some noodles while making a call on your wood-smoke-smelling phone from the backcountry (provided cell towers still have power). The BioLite CampStove converts heat generated from your stove into electricity to charge USB gadgets. I suspect it’s not the most efficient charger in the world, but it’s the only one that will still works off a campfire.

Hell: Exothermic or Endothermic?

This answer to a college chemistry exam was sent to me recently and restores my faith in the new generation of college students. The answer was purportedly in response to the bonus question on a University of Arizona chemistry midterm: “Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?”

Here is the student’s answer:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, ‘It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,’ and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct….. …leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting ‘Oh my God.’

The student reportedly received a well-deserved A+

Lee Buck Trevino (born December 1, 1939) is a Mexican American professional golfer. He is an icon for Mexican Americans, and is often referred to as "The Merry Mex" and "Supermex",
One day, shortly after joining the PGA tour in 1965, Lee Trevino, a professional golfer and married man, was at his home in Dallas,Texas mowing his front lawn, as he always did. A lady driving by in a big, shiny Cadillac stopped in front of his house, lowered the window and asked, 
"Excuse me, do you speak English ? "
Lee responded, 
"Yes Ma'am, I do " 
The lady then asked, 
"What do you charge to do yard work ?"
Lee said, 
"Well, the lady in this house lets me sleep with her ". 
The lady hurriedly put the car into gear and sped off.
bill gates

John Doerr asked Gates how he met his wife, Melinda.

"At work," Gates reportedly said. "Back when that was okay."

While there is much scientific and religious controversy over when, exactly, the moment of life begins, the Jewish tradition is clear: The fetus is not considered viable until after it graduates from medical school.