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Joke of the Day by alexey ,  Nov 16, 2012
Difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED (a real story)


No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the
 
difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED. However, in a recent 
linguistic conference held in London, England, and attended by some of 
the best linguists in the world: Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese, was 
the clear winner. 

His final challenge was this: Some say there is no difference between 
COMPLETE and FINISHED. Please explain the difference between COMPLETE 
and FINISHED in a way that is easy to understand. 

Here is his astute answer: "When you marry the right woman, you are 
COMPLETE. But, when you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED. And 
when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are COMPLETELY 
FINISHED!" 

His answer was received with a standing ovation lasting over 5 minutes 
and it entitled him to receive an invitation to dine with Queen, who 
decided to call him after the contest. He won a trip to travel around 
the world in style and a case of 25 year old Eldorado rum for his 
answer.




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We are organizing an international conference to fight email spam.  We have sent one million invitations already!

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Three things are just enough, to get rich: an intellect, talent, and, a lot of money!

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My doctor said, I have a natural capability for snowboarding!  - Why is that?  My bones are healing very fast!

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JOKE COLLECTION

9 Months Later...

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north.

After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.

'I realize its terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed,' she explained. 'I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.'

'Don't worry,' Jack said. 'We'll be happy to sleep in the barn, and if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light. 'The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.

Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way.

They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing. But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.  He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, 'Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?'

'Yes, I do.' said Bob

'Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?'

'Well, um, yes!,' Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out, 'I have to admit that I did.'

'And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?'

Bob's face turned beet red and he said, 'Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy, I'm afraid I did.' 'Why do you ask?'

'She just died and left me everything.'



more jokes...




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A call to a corporate recruiting department:

- Are you looking for a new Chief Financial Officer?

- Yes, we are. We are looking for the old one as well!


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Buying a painting:

- Do you guarantee this is an original painting by Rembrandt?

- Sure! We give 3 year warranty!


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When a man talks to God, it is a prey.  When God talks to a man, it is Schizophrenia!



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 more jokes...



- Professor, I think my son will never pass the test for your class.

- I bet 100 bucks he will! 

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Two fleas, getting out of a restaurant: 
-Darling, are we going to walk, or should we catch, a dog?


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A drunk guy asking an old gentleman in front of an apartment building:
- Sir, where does Johnny live?
- Wait a second, you are Johnny himself.
- Yes, I know, but where does he live?


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